Friday, November 19, 2010

WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL......


WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL......

Relationships often fail because we don’t understand them! Most of us have little appreciation of the elements that contribute to a happy relationship, marriage or other social union, setting us up for failure from day one. Indeed, those who do succeed in relationships tend to have little realization as to why they are succeeding until they have the benefit of hindsight to figure it out.

Many others just put it down to luck…being in the right place at the right time!
The fact of the matter is that we are programmed to fail in our relationships. Our natural tendency is to do all the things that are incompatible with a stable relationship, no matter how hard we try to do otherwise. Why relationships fail is simply a by-product of human nature, but by being aware of the elements that trigger failure, we stand a much better chance of defeating them in the long run.

Here are the top five reasons why relationships fail;

1) Selfishness – Relationships are about you and your partner, not you or your partner. Making a decision in a relationship without due consideration for your partner is just absurd, and is a sure-fire way of destroying it. Both partners have equal stakes in a relationship or marriage, and therefore should have equal say. Okay, you’re not going to agree on everything, but you both have to learn to compromise if you want to build a successful relationship.

2) Dishonesty – Whether you’re hiding a dark secret from your partner, telling little “white lies” or being untrue to your feelings, dishonesty hurts relationships. The best policy in every situation is to tell the truth. Fine if you have to hold back until the right moment, but do it soon as it will otherwise prey on your mind, preventing you from fully committing to your relationship. Besides, dishonesty is almost always uncovered when you least expect it and when you’re “found out” a big chunk of your relationship can become irretrievably damaged.

3) Superiority – For a relationship to work it should be egalitarian in nature, so both partners have an equal say. When one partner elevates themselves to be superior over the other, then failure is on the cards. Superiority can manifest itself in the inane, such as the need of one partner to always be right, to more serious situations where one partner places mental or even physical restraints on the other.

4) Being Critical – Highlighting flaws in your partner’s character, constantly blaming your partner (rightly or wrongly) for situations, and always finding fault with the things they do is a quick way to wreck a relationship. Besides, what gives you the right to destroy another person’s self esteem? Being critical in a public place to the point that your partner is humiliated is even worse. Learn to bite your tongue and adopt a more sympathetic approach if you want to avoid a relationship breakdown. You should also learn to apologize if you catch yourself being critical in an unacceptable way!

5) Abuse – Being critical can often cross the line into out and out abuse. This is perhaps the biggest reason why relationships fail, mainly because it is so widespread. Abuse does not just mean physical violence or extreme mental insult, it also includes mild forms of abuse that happen every day, such as put-downs, sarcastic comments, issuing threats or purposefully withholding affection. This can be hard to take, and along with being critical accounts for most argument flair-ups in relationships. Avoid abuse at all costs, otherwise your relationship is dead & buried!

The page is made for you; (busiaonline.blospot.com)
that is why we give you time and space to share your story and experience,
get the best as you link with;
Face book- Benjamin Ong’aria...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

EFFECTS OF SEX

Effects of Sex














dero omoriit




Too often we don't realize
What we have until its gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry I was wrong."
So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take the time to say the words
Before your time is through.


Dear friends,

What you are just about to see in this email is not entertaining to any human eyes but a reality of what is happening to the world today.  My prayer is that we are able to communicate this message to as many people as possible.  Be it our brothers our sisters our own children the message MUST be passed on without any reservation "hebu chukua control ya maisha yako mwenyewe" and even for those around you.

Take courage and do what you are suppose to do in your community.

During the aids seminar attend last week, the emphasy was "speak out" without fear and God will bless you.

The #1 Killer "TODAY" is not guns, drugs, or starvation but IT`S STD`S (SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES) AND IT`S LEADER, AIDS.
*TAKE THE AIDS & STD QUIZ*

1.DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE UNSAFE SEX COZ YOU CLAIM THAT IT FEELS BETTER?

2.DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH ANY OR EVERY BODY COZ HE OR SHE LOOKS GOOD AS HELL?

3.DO YOU LIKE GIVING ORAL SEX WITHOUT CARING?

4.IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THESE ?'S THEN YOU NEED TO GET TESTED FOR STD`S AND AIDS COZ THERE IS A HIGH CHANCE YOU ARE INFECTED

Welcome

To

Reality!!


Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). HIV is the virus that causes AIDS
(acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). It weakens your body's ability to fight
off disease. As your body's immune system weakens, illnesses begin to develop
until you can no longer fight them off. Symptoms may take years to develop
and may include unusual infections, unexplained fatigue, night sweats and
weight loss.


Herpes. Symptoms start with tingling or itching around your genitals. Small
blisters may form in the area and then pop open. When this happens, you might
feel burning, especially when urinating. The sores then turn to scabs. During
the first outbreak, you might have swollen glands, fever and body aches. But
some people don't have such obvious symptoms. Outbreaks may occur for the rest
of your life, but usually become less frequent and less painful with time.


Syphilis. Early signs include a chancre (a painless, red sore). The sores may
appear where you were touched during sex, including your genitals, anus,
tongue and throat. The glands near the chancre may swell. A few months later,
you may have a fever,sore throat, and headache, not feel hungry or have joint
pain. A scaly rash may appear on the palms of your hands and the soles of
your feet. After these symptoms pass, you may not have any symptoms for a
number of years. When the symptoms return, the infections can affect the
brain, spinal cord, and skin and bone.


Gonorrhea and chlamydia are both bacteria. The symptoms of gonorrhea and
chlamydia are very similar. Men and women often complain of a discharge,
frequent urination, or burning when they urinate. In gonorrhea the discharge
is often white, in chlamydia the discharge is usually clear. Very often
people may not have any symptoms! Both gonorrhea and chlamydia are spread by
coming in contact with the discharge. If a woman is not treated for either of
these diseases, it could lead to a severe infection in her reproductive
organs which could cause infertility.



Genital warts are caused by a virus called the Human Papilloma Virus. The
warts can be removed, but the person will have the virus for the rest of
their life. It is very common for the warts to reappear after they have been
removed. This disease is spread by coming in contact with the wart, but often
the warts cannotbe seen. Genital warts can have very different appearances.


This woman is not pregnant
she has hepatitis B and is suffering from liver cancer
(average life expectancy after diagnosis of liver cancer is 6 months)

Hepatitis B.speards through sexual contact. Symptoms may include muscle
aches, fever, tiredness, loss of appetite, headache and dizziness. As the
disease worsens, you may have dark urine, loose, light-coloured stools,
yellow eyes and skin, and tenderness in the liver area (just below the ribs
on the right side). Hepatitis B can be fatal if it leads to liver failure or
liver cancer.

AS FOR ANAL SEX!!!!


ORAL SEX!!!


FOR FEMALES WHO HAVE SEX WITHOUTA CONDOM!!







FOR MALES WHO LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM!!!!








ANAL SEX!!!



PROTECT

YOURSELF

OR

DIE!!


*A Special Note*
 
This Page is created in the "Hopes" and an "Attempt" to save some
lives..Brotha`s and Sista`s... Our People are dying and the sad part about it
is you are doing it to yourself by not being
RESPONSIBLE...
Practice Safe Sex or NO Sex; it`s a Life saver Decision!
but still remember, we do not have 100% safe sex, so.......

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

‘I thought I was wrong’


OVERVIEW

‘I thought I was wrong’ tries to narrate a story of a young man who has passed through a society that has a lot of rigid traditional social practices where very few people have formal education. This few that have the education try as much as possible to use in favour of themselves and try to use the others for their own benefit.

Most youths, just like the narrator, tend to involve themselves in alcoholic drinking, early sexual practices, early marriages and other anti- social vices that tend to ruin their lives. The narrator passed through all these, but at the end, he realised that he has a life to live. He opted to change his attitudes completely towards a future that he dreams for.

Tomorrow, he is graduating at the K.I.C.C. Grounds in Nairobi, having ventured a lot in Social Work and Community Development, though this is not an end, he believe is a beginning of an end. To him, the future is not a continuation of the past, but today is the beginning of the future.



PART ONE

I could admit that my early years on earth were the worst in history; the worst I mean the worst socially. Today is my first day to put them in public, I can not call it rape or a sexual intercourse, and I have no word to call this. This happened when I was in my aunt’s place by that time, I was a young boy by then, not really sure how old I was but very sure that I was in nursery.

This happened one day when we were taken by the so called ‘big boys’ to a local dance. In that particular village, local dances were a normal way of life; almost all the young men had passed through the practice and more than a half of the population had got their wives in that traditional activity. In the local dance venue, we were denied the entrance as they claimed that we were very young to enter inside. Though we were out, we could clearly know what was going inside there.

You are given a tap and you give it to a person of the opposite sex. The tapes were taken by the ladies in most cases but occasionally ladies can request the men also to take the tapes. After that, the laps are put off and the tapes were played one by one. To them, this was normal, but to me, there was something that needed to be done.
If my memory is right, almost all these friends have married or have children of their own. Some of them have as more as four children. Whenever we meet, you are being asked, “Unaongoja nini?” (What are you waiting for?)

Every month of December, these dances could be very many. Due to the same, the place has a lot of children who are born out of wed lock, some after realising that they are about to give birth, they decide to get married, some even to people who are not fathers of their expected children.

I thought that dad was wrong when he insisted that never will I stay with any of my relatives till I was old enough to take care of myself. In this particular case, we had to wait out till the end of the local dance. This was because without the big boys that were with us, we won’t have got a place to spend a night. Aunty usually slept early and she will make sure that she closes the doors; they did this because almost the whole society was one ethnical community so you can easily spent in any house as long there were children of your age there. On our way home, we were convinced that all was okay and that next time we will be forced in, I come to realise that all this were just theories that will never ever come to pass. My dream was to enter into the house and just have a look at what was happening inside these houses.

Life is full of stories and surprises, that first day that we were convinced to go to a local dance was my first day to realise a lot in life. How can you feel if you go to a pub, get drunk and then in the morning  when you woke up, you find that your real sister is lying next to you, all of you are naked and that without any doubt, you had a sexual intercourse in the course of the night. This may look as fiction, but believe me that is a real story. That was my first day to see a real biological brother having a sexual intercourse with a real biological sister!

All these ladies are married at the moment and whenever we meet, we fail to have a word to share, and I do not know is it because of the shame or what is going on.

That day, when we entered the house, all the sisters were a sleep, coincidently, they are three sisters and three brothers; first born being a lady, a gent, a lady, two gents and the last born is a lady…………

(The story continues….. would you like to know the whole story? then be a fun of the page, send a comment to the page or email to get a copy of the book).

Jed Odero November 15 at 9:00pm Report
Too often we don't realize

What we have until its gone

Too often we wait too late to say

"I'm sorry I was wrong."

So be sure that you let people know

How much they mean to you

Take the time to say the words

Before your time is through.



Dear friends,

What you are just about to see in this email is not entertaining to any human eyes but a reality of what is happening to the world today. My prayer is that we are able to communicate this message to as many people as possible. Be it our brothers our sisters our own children the message MUST be passed on without any reservation "hebu chukua control ya maisha yako mwenyewe" and even for those around you.



Take courage and do what you are suppose to do in your community.



During the aids seminar attend last week, the emphasy was "speak out" without fear and God will bless you.



The #1 Killer "TODAY" is not guns, drugs, or starvation but IT`S STD`S (SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES) AND IT`S LEADER, AIDS.

*TAKE THE AIDS & STD QUIZ*



1.DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE UNSAFE SEX COZ YOU CLAIM THAT IT FEELS BETTER?

2.DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH ANY OR EVERY BODY COZ HE OR SHE LOOKS GOOD AS HELL?

3.DO YOU LIKE GIVING ORAL SEX WITHOUT CARING?


4.IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THESE ?'S THEN YOU NEED TO GET TESTED FOR STD`S AND AIDS COZ THERE IS A HIGH CHANCE YOU ARE INFECTED

Welcome

To

Reality!!


Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). HIV is the virus that causes AIDS
(acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). It weakens your body's ability to fight
off disease. As your body's immune system weakens, illnesses begin to develop
until you can no longer fight them off. Symptoms may take years to develop
and may include unusual infections, unexplained fatigue, night sweats and
weight loss.


Herpes. Symptoms start with tingling or itching around your genitals. Small
blisters may form in the area and then pop open. When this happens, you might
feel burning, especially when urinating. The sores then turn to scabs. During
the first outbreak, you might have swollen glands, fever and body aches. But
some people don't have such obvious symptoms. Outbreaks may occur for the rest
of your life, but usually become less frequent and less painful with time.




Syphilis. Early signs include a chancre (a painless, red sore). The sores may
appear where you were touched during sex, including your genitals, anus,
tongue and throat. The glands near the chancre may swell. A few months later,
you may have a fever,sore throat, and headache, not feel hungry or have joint
pain. A scaly rash may appear on the palms of your hands and the soles of
your feet. After these symptoms pass, you may not have any symptoms for a
number of years. When the symptoms return, the infections can affect the
brain, spinal cord, and skin and bone.


Gonorrhea and chlamydia are both bacteria. The symptoms of gonorrhea and
chlamydia are very similar. Men and women often complain of a discharge,
frequent urination, or burning when they urinate. In gonorrhea the discharge
is often white, in chlamydia the discharge is usually clear. Very often
people may not have any symptoms! Both gonorrhea and chlamydia are spread by
coming in contact with the discharge. If a woman is not treated for either of
these diseases, it could lead to a severe infection in her reproductive
organs which could cause infertility.



Genital warts are caused by a virus called the Human Papilloma Virus. The
warts can be removed, but the person will have the virus for the rest of
their life. It is very common for the warts to reappear after they have been
removed. This disease is spread by coming in contact with the wart, but often
the warts cannotbe seen. Genital warts can have very different appearances.




This woman is not pregnant
she has hepatitis B and is suffering from liver cancer
(average life expectancy after diagnosis of liver cancer is 6 months)



Hepatitis B.speards through sexual contact. Symptoms may include muscle
aches, fever, tiredness, loss of appetite, headache and dizziness. As the
disease worsens, you may have dark urine, loose, light-coloured stools,
yellow eyes and skin, and tenderness in the liver area (just below the ribs
on the right side). Hepatitis B can be fatal if it leads to liver failure or
liver cancer.



AS FOR ANAL SEX!!!!



ORAL SEX!!!



FOR FEMALES WHO HAVE SEX WITHOUTA CONDOM!!









FOR MALES WHO LIKE TOHAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM!!!!










ANAL SEX!!!





PROTECT

YOURSELF

OR

DIE!!




*A Special Note*



This Page is created in the "Hopes" and an "Attempt" to save some
lives..Brotha`s and Sista`s... Our People are dying and the sad part about it
is you are doing it to yourself by not being
RESPONSIBLE...

Practice Safe Sex or NO Sex; it`s a Life saver Decision!

Monday, November 15, 2010

HOW CAN WE ADDRESS THE AIDS ISSUE


AFRICA: Money no protection from HIV
JOHANNESBURG, 6 July 2010 (PlusNews) - A new study has challenged widely held assumptions about income level in relation to HIV, finding that neither wealth nor poverty are reliable predictors of HIV infection in Africa. 

Previously, the argument that poverty drove HIV epidemics was supported by the World Bank and UNAIDS, as well as less reliable authorities like former South African President Thabo Mbeki, who told the International AIDS Conference in Durban in 2000 that the disease was a partner with "poverty, suffering, social disadvantage and inequity". 

More recent research suggests that the reality is far more complex. For example, Botswana and South Africa, described as two of the wealthiest countries on the continent, also have among the highest rates of HIV infection. 

Nevertheless, the idea that poverty fuels the spread of HIV has persisted as "a very dominant narrative", according to Justin Parkhurst of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. 

Parkhurst analyzed and compared data on HIV and wealth from demographic and health surveys in 12 sub-Saharan African countries with generalized epidemics (national prevalence rates higher than 1 percent); his findings are published in the July issue of the Bulletin of the World Health Organization.

He noted that in lower-income countries HIV prevalence tended to rise in tandem with wealth - in Uganda and Cote d'Ivoire, for example, women in the highest income bracket had the highest HIV prevalence. 

In countries with a per capita gross domestic product higher than US$2,000, the link between wealth and prevalence was less clear. 

Parkhurst also found that the relationship between wealth and HIV changed over time. A survey was conducted In Tanzania in 2003, and another in 2008; in the intervening five-year period, HIV prevalence declined among women in higher income brackets and rose among those in the lower income groups. Among men, prevalence stayed the same in the poorest group but was lower in all other groups, with the biggest declines in the highest income groups. 

"HIV spreads through sexual behaviours, and these are social behaviours that change over time and are responsive to outside influences," Parkhurst told IRIN/PlusNews.
He compared the way HIV affected different social groups with the way tobacco use and obesity once affected mainly the rich, but were now bigger problems among the poor. 

Wealthier people were often harder hit early in an HIV epidemic, probably because of their broader social and sexual networks. "Over time, the wealthy tend to be more educated [about HIV risk] and more likely to think about their future health," said Parkhurst. 

However, these trends are by no means universal and the patterns for men and women differ. In Swaziland, for example, which has the highest HIV prevalence of all the countries Parkhurst looked at, there was little evidence of a link between household wealth and individual prevalence. 


Know your epidemic 

Parkhurst's findings have implications for one-size-fits-all prevention campaigns that do not take into account the complex and changing ways in which wealth, education level and gender can affect risk-taking behaviours. 

"We need to educate people [about HIV] in a way that's relevant to their context," he said. "It's about letting local actors to find out what's going to work best. If we try to work out the solution from London ... it's unlikely to work." 

Parkhurst said "bottom-up" HIV prevention initiatives targeting the specific lifestyles and risk behaviours of a community were more likely to work. This approach is already catching on, with UNAIDS urging countries to "know your epidemic" and design prevention programmes accordingly. 

"Health practitioners know they have to diagnose a problem before they can treat it," he said. "I think the international community is starting to recognize the importance of addressing structural drivers of HIV, not just broadly, but to look at the specifics for specific communities 


Women infected as often as men in discordant African couples
A large study of HIV-discordant couples (one partner infected and the other not) found that
nearly half of infected partners were women (TUAC0205). This systematic review and metaanalysis
focused on 27 sub-Saharan cohorts including 12,865 couples, as well as on 1,145
couples in demographic and health surveys from 14 countries. Women were the infected
partner in 47% of the cohort couples and in 46% of the health survey studies.

Psychological problems persist for years in AIDS orphans
A four-year study of more than 1,000 South African children found significantly higher rates
of psychological problems in AIDS orphans than in other orphans and nonorphans, and most
of those problems persisted through 4 years of follow-up (TUAD0206). Researchers found
that AIDS orphans reported significantly more depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome,
peer problems, and delinquency than other orphans or children who were not orphans. Four
years after the initial survey, the investigators found that AIDS orphans still reported
significantly more depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome than other orphans or
nonorphans. Three factors raised the risk of psychological problems in AIDS orphans: AIDS
stigma, hunger, and bullying and victimization.

Heavy financial, emotional toll in caring for adult child with AIDS
A survey of 859 households in urban and rural Zambia confirmed that caring for an adult
child who died of AIDS had heavy financial and emotional impacts on caregivers, despite
governmental programmes to ease these burdens (MOAE0205). Nearly half of the
caregivers were 60 or older, 96% lacked financial resources to care for their dying child, and
75% experienced “emotional upheaval.” In urban areas, one third of caregivers sold assets
to support children. Only 10% mentioned HIV-related social stigma as a problem.
Studies analyze integration and decentralization of HIV care
Integrating HIV care into other health programmes can have multiple benefits, ranging from
increased HIV testing to more sustained treatment of conditions prevalent in a given region.
Three studies in a Wednesday oral session explore integrating HIV services with malaria
prevention in Kenya (WEAE0104), mass immunization in Zimbabwe (WEAE0105), and
primary health care in nine sub-Saharan countries (WEAE0101).
Four reports in the same Thursday session focus on strategies to decentralize, and thereby
expand, HIV care. Researchers in Malawi assessed the feasibility of shifting some tasks
from nurses to lesser-skilled personnel in vertical (mother-to-child) transmission programmes
(THAE0301). Another Malawi group sought to expand HIV testing and other basic health
services via mobile clinics (THAE0302). In rural Mozambique, Medecins Sans Frontieres
investigators piloted distribution of antiretrovirals through self-forming patient groups
(THAE0303). And in Kenya, nurse-centered “low risk express care” helped retain HIVpositive
patients in care while maintaining clinical benefits (THAE0305).


Sub-Sahara Africa leads global decline in new HIV cases

The UN called for greater global investment in HIV/Aids prevention

Countries in Sub-Saharan Africa are leading a global decline in new HIV infections, the UN has said.

UNAids said 22 countries in the world's worst affected region had seen a drop in new cases of more than 25%.

The fall was because of greater awareness and better use of preventative measures, it said.

But UNAids also noted that cases of HIV were increasing in Eastern Europe and Central Asia, and among gay men in developed countries.

Michel Sidibe, UNAids executive director, said the world was making "real progress" towards achieving the sixth Millennium Development Goal (MDG6) of halting and reversing the spread of HIV/Aids by 2015.

"For the first time change is happening at the heart of the epidemic. In places where HIV was stealing away dreams, we now have hope," he said.
Continue reading the main story
Related stories
African young 'change sex habits'
New hope for HIV vaccine efforts
Circumcision: Zimbabwe's latest anti-HIV weapon

UNAids says there are now 5.2 million people worldwide receiving treatment for HIV/Aids, which has helped to ensure that 200,000 fewer people died from the virus in 2008 than in 2004.

The agency said young people "are leading the prevention revolution by choosing to have sex later, having fewer multiple partners and using condoms, resulting in significantly fewer new HIV infections in many countries highly affected by Aids".

The use of male condoms has also doubled in the past five years, while the report notes that "tradition is giving space to pragmatism" in many communities as they embrace male circumcision, which research shows has the potential to reduce HIV infections among men by nearly 60%.
'Challenges remain'

China, where cases are largely concentrated within high-risk groups, was praised for its efforts to increase preventative measures for drug users.

UNAids said South Africa had also rapidly increased "efforts to achieve universal access to HIV prevention, treatment, care and support".
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But there was a warning that "challenges remain" in the global fight against HIV/Aids, including expanding epidemics in Eastern Europe and Central Asia, and resurgence in new infections in wealthier nations among men who have sex with men.

The UN also called for greater investment in HIV/Aids prevention, warning that there was a $10bn (£6.4bn) shortfall in 2009.

It said those countries most severely affected by HIV/Aids could not handle the crisis with their own resources alone.

"At this turning point flat-lining or reductions in investments will set-back the Aids response and threaten the world's ability to reach MDG 6," said Mr Sidibe.

"Investing for Aids is a shared responsibility - between development partners and national governments."